Film Cliches

• In war films the character with the most hopes and dreams always get killed.
• “Little Timmy” always gets killed.
• Steven Segal can’t act.
• You can hack into the CIA/FBI database by simply mashing the keyboard on your PC.
• The stupid/hysterical/screaming woman always manages to escape in horror movies.
• James Bond is always put in an easily escapable situation.
• The bad guy has to perform a long/boring monologue before he is killed by the hero.
• Power cuts happen at the most annoying times.
• Being chased by a killer, the victims will always hide in the darkest possible location.
• Asian men/women always know some form of martial art.
• When someone makes a phone call it is answered at the first ring.
• In war films the sergent always has to do something heroic and get killed/have his legs blown off in the process.
• A computer never has to boot-up, it is always on the right screen.
• When ringing a doorbell the person waits for 3 seconds before thinking something suspitious most be going on.
• The hero is always able to drive a car, ride a bike, fly a plane or helicoptor or sail a boat without any prior training.
• Guns never have to be reloaded.
• Incriminating files are easily found on any villains PC.
• There is always a full moon.
• Whenever the main character is feeling hard done by/depressed it will start to rain.
• When it is raining people shout at each other.
• When a guy asks a girl out he will only ever say “fancy going out for a meal sometime”. They will never discuss arrangements (time, place, date etc…).
• Lifts always break down.
• Aeroplanes never have enough fuel to get to the destination.
• Cars only break down at night, on dark empty roads when it is raining.
• In horror films one of the victims fancys himself a bit of a tough-guy, and so offers to create a distraction for the killer, in the hope that he will get sex from the blonde girl with big tits at a later point in the film. But inevitably he gets cut to pieces with a chainsaw.
• A six-shooter can carry up to 12 rounds.
• Vents are always just the right size to crawl through.
• The police chief always suspends his best detective – who will go on to solve the case regardless of this.